Amnesia: I kind of wish I had it after watching this

So somehow I started watching Amnesia, a currently-airing show based on an Otome dating sim.  This is completely unlike anything I would normally watch, so I'm going to blame Tumblr for throwing screenshots at me and luring me into it.  I blame the special eyes.  (MY BRAND)

No, really, the eyes are ridiculous.

So the basic plot goes something like this:  Girl has amnesia.  Girl must put together clues as to why she has amnesia.  Boys keep hitting on her.  Must find true love.  With amnesia.

Look at all the men you can haaaave

It goes without saying that I should not be expecting stellar plot or character development from an anime based on an otome dating sim.  I know this.  I keep telling myself this.  It is not working.  Every episode I have this obscene urge to slap the main character across the face for being so utterly vapid.

She's the worst version of the silent protagonist- instead of being silent, she says things with expressions of mild surprise like "Huh?" and "Oh?" and "Eh?"  and "But-"  She can never seem to get an actual sentence out without someone finishing it for her or without her brain taking a one-way trip to La-La Land while she talks to the invisible floating jester elf thing who gives her bad medical advice on her recurring concussion.

The female character's attempts at normal human interaction seem to go something like this:

HOW DO I BREAD

Oh, and can we talk about their wardrobe choices?  It looks like the people in this show fell backwards through a closet at Hot Topic and then rolled around in a giant pile of extraneous belts like goth Final Fantasy rejects.

You thought I was exaggerating, didn't you.

And let's not forget what has to be the most contrived plot device in the history of contrived plot devices.  In order for the main character to get with all of the dating possibilities, she has to die via stepping out in front of a car or falling off a cliff or drowning or something equally ridiculous and resurrect in some sort of alternate universe where she is dating one of the other guys.  It's like the most boring version of Groundhog Day imaginable, where she continuously relives August 1st ad nauseam until I'd rather like to have amnesia myself.

Please just kill me 

On top of it all, the pacing is so horrendously slow- she spends an entire episode stuttering while the guy finishes sentences for her and yet nothing actually happens.  So why keep watching it?  This season has an unfortunate dearth of worthwhile shows.  I would spend my time watching something else, but there is nothing else airing to watch, other than shows that are carry-overs from last season (aka Psychopass, Shinsekai Yori, and Zetsuen no Tempest).

I cannot fathom how anyone could find this show remotely romantic.  I assume that is its purpose, as a dating sim, but maybe I assume too much.  This has got to be the worst lineup of men in the history of forever. We have Shin, an unsociable murderer who constantly insults her intelligence, Ikki, an inveterate womanizer who may or may not secretly hate women, and Kent, an obsessive grad student with no discernible human social skills whatsoever.  Oh, and don't forget the stalker that follows her through dimensions reminding her of her impending death (Ukyo).

Please just

 But wait- it gets better.  Toma, the only character that seems nice and normal and acts like a sane human being for the majority of the show?   The one that actually seems like he cares unconditionally and is legitimately concerned for her well-being?  He's a fucking lunatic who starts drugging her food and water to keep her from leaving his apartment.  And then after she escapes, he locks her in an animal cage for her own protection.

Seriously how the fuck did he sneak this into his apartment

THIS IS NOT BOYFRIEND BEHAVIOR.  THIS IS PSYCHOPATH BEHAVIOR.  Seriously, when did this turn from the dating game to the rape game.  And the Heroine does NOTHING.  She sits in her cage placidly.  WHY.   And then they start talking about how she is now his favorite toy, like a doll he can play with and then put away when he gets bored.  Even worse, the show is trying to get us to sympathize with Toma.  No, no, he's not mentally unbalanced, his urge to protect you is just too strong!

You know, the guy that drugged you and locked you in a cage.  And then he starts up with the thinly veiled rape threats!  THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS.

I'm sorry.  What is supposed to be my reaction to this?  "Oh my gosh I hope my boyfriend locks me in a cage it's just so KAWAII DESU."  Seriously, what kind of fucked up message is this sending to women?

And the best part?  This guy was the highest voted love interest in the game.  I shit you not.  These are probably the same people that thought Yuno Gasai was an ideal love interest.

FUCK ALL OF YOU

 Typical special yandere 'what the fuck-ery'.  And while browsing through tumblr searching for appropriate gifs, I seem to have accidentally stumbled upon the entire subset of people who find yandere just fantastically uber sexy kawaii.

RUN

So what have I learned from this experience?  Don't trust tumblr for show recommendations.  Don't watch shows based off of otome dating sims.  Don't watch shows simply because there is nothing else to watch.  Don't.

~Kathryn